Every once in a while I start to feel fatigued. Perhaps it's the weight of the world I really don't need to carry or maybe it's compassion fatigue. It's when I have less energy throughout the day and wish I didn't have responsibilities for a week. Some people call it light-worker burnout. Apparently, if we manage it correctly we never see burnout. I am not so sure of this. Light-workers still have the same responsibilities as everyone else. We still have mortgages or rent. We still get up early to take our children to school. We still need to cook and clean and deal with marital or extended family issues. On top of that we are often asked to do our work for free. I find that my clients never want this from me. My clients generally want to have an even trade and not feel they owe anything. As a matter of fact, I often get paid extra. I get tips of 20, 30 and even 50% sometimes. I am so incredibly grateful for this.
In my younger years I would have turned tips down. I would have insisted that they take it back. I did, for many years, refuse payment of any kind. You know what happened? I couldn't pay my rent and my bills as a single mom working 3 jobs for 15 years. Now, I accept all abundance the source and spirit send my way. This I attribute to a stranger I met as a fair. She overheard me talking about a reading I did for a friend and how, well, it didn't turn out so great. She said, "Why don't you try it on me?" I thought this was a strange request. She insisted that it might be easier because she was a stranger. She was right. I was extremely accurate. Without her giving any information, not even her name, I was able to tell her about her husband who had recently passed. He had me say multiple things that trend out to be direct quotes from his mouth. He told me that I he had sent her to me that day. The reading ended with her crying and thanking me profusely. There was a really long hug that made me a little uncomfortable and then it made me smile. Then, she took my hand and put money in it. I refused. She said, "Listen, this is your calling. You are a healer in your own way. If you don't take payment you won't be able to do the work. You'll be too busy, stressed and worried in this capitalist world. Take the money." Again, I refused. She reluctantly retreated her insistence.
The next couple of days were particularly hard. I couldn't figure out how I was going to get to work. I couldn't figure out how to make the little money I had stretch the whole week for meals. I couldn't buy my daughter a Halloween costume. I was happy in life, but miserable from financial obligation. Then, I randomly looked in my purse. Stuck in the side pocket was a rolled up $100. bill. At first I didn't know where it had come from. Then I realized the woman at the fair had stuck it in my purse when I turned to address a friend. That money paid for meals for my daughter for a week. Suddenly, I understood what needed to happen. First, I stopped putting energy into doing readings for friends and family who were mostly just challenging me and started doing them for strangers. My skills and confidence began to build. Then, I quit one of my jobs and replaced it with readings.
The spiritual messages of approval started to pour in everywhere. I remember that week opening my car door several times when white feathers came flying out of the car. Neither me nor my daughter could figure out where they came from. We both started seeing 777 everywhere we went. EVERYWHERE! People began walking up to me on the street telling me random things like, "You are doing a good job" or "You are on your way." or even, "The angels are all around you." Friends began noticing this and asking what was going on. I truly didn't know.
It wasn't always money. Sometimes people offered gift cards, discounts, spiritual tools or transportation. It was like the world suddenly started to take care of me. Abundance is now part of life on all levels. I appreciate it greatly. That said, sometimes it isn't about compensation. Sometimes that is not what is needed. Sometimes I just need a break. I need to put my feet in the dirt, the sand or the ocean. I feel this now. Boy, it sure would be nice to be able to do a reading for a couple of tickets to Hawaii or the Bahamas right now. Anywhere with an ocean will do. Then, when I come back, I will have more energy for pro-bono work.