I have to admit, I have been avoiding writing this post for many years. Frankly, I am not even sure I should do it now. Maybe it's my age; the I'm 43 and I don't need your approval for anything age. Maybe it's the crazy events of the world making it obvious that none of us have figured"it" out yet. For some reason, the timing feels right to get it out. Here goes...
First, let me say that I didn't get any of the following information from any formal religion. There are a few crossover subjects but my interest in them didn't come from theology or study, they came straight from direct experience.
There was a point in my young adult life I wanted nothing to do with metaphysics, spiritualism or anyone's belief in God. As a matter of fact, I had every intention to study architectural engineering, and physics. I wanted to avoid mystical or magical thinking in all aspects. Life just had a different plan for me.
I often tell people I have been doing readings since I was eight. This is true. What I don't always say is that I had no idea that is what I was doing. I was just talking to people about intimate and personal subjects. Most of the time I didn't even know I was saying something that I had no way of knowing. I was often perplexed when people would cry or get emotional or hug me, or, would avoid me and my "intense information". The truth is that I didn't fully accept what was going on until I was well into my teens. This is also when I discovered just how destructive crying Cassandra in the wrong context, with the wrong people was so I rejected my gift completely.
Then this started happening:
One day a woman walked up next to me on the street corner as I was waiting for the bus to get to school to deliver an important assignment. She looked sad. Before I knew I was speaking I said, "I'm sorry, but he is really gone this time. He is not coming back. I know you think he is coming back, but he isn't. This is a very good thing because he has been hurting you physically for a long time. Your guides are driving him away because in this timeline, he is going to kill you. Your daughter will have no one. He's not coming back. You are protected. Accept the protection." She hugged me sobbing for almost 5 minutes straight before she wiped her tears. My bus came and went but I didn't break the embrace. She then looked intensely into my eyes and said thank you and walked away. I knew she needed that hug more than anything in the world but I was often very resistant to touch. I missed my deadline. I didn't do as well as I could have in that class but that wouldn't stop me from making similar choices in other situations in the future.
I stood there freaked out at myself on the corner. I felt compelled to deliver this message. I didn't know where it came from. I sat down there letting busses pass me by trying to figure out exactly what had happened. That wasn't the first time and it wasn't the last. It seemed the more I tried to avoid this kind of exchange, the more it happened. Often I wasn't with family or friends when it happened so I started to feel I might be losing my mind. After all, I WAS in my late teens and early twenties. Many mental illnesses do start to take hold at that age. After this happened a few more times I began looking for a psychologist to see if I was losing my mind but soon got distracted by life and didn't go.
Then a new messages started coming, and these ones for me. Strangers would walk up to me on the street and say things to me, then walk away as if it never happened. A few times I would stop these people in the street and ask why they told me what they told me. Very often they had no knowledge of the event. At this point I KNEW I was losing my mind and began to seek mental health help. It was the only rational solution.
THE MESSAGES I RECEIVED FROM STRANGERS:
"There are other like you." -several times
"You need to find them. They need you."
"It's time for you to get to work."
"It's really happening, ask for proof."
"You are not alone."
"No, you weren't left here. It's your truth. Get to work."
"We know you don't remember, but you will."
"Spread your wings. It's time. We will guide you."
"You know what you are, you have always known it."
I had ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what these people were talking about. I was ABSOLUTELY CONVINCED I was hallucinating. Until one day I said out loud to the sky as if talking to GOD, "If I think I might be crazy! If you want me to think I am not crazy, you are going to have to start sending these messengers in front of other people who know and care about me. I need proof, I need validation! I have a science mind!"
And that is EXACTLY what began to happen. I kept receiving these messages for years as I tried to avoid them. The difference was that now it was happening in front of other people. Other people would be just as stunned at these events I was. You know what's more frightening than thinking you have lost your mind? Experiencing something completely unexplainable and knowing you haven't.
As the years went on the messages got stronger and more consequential both out and in. I finally accepted a higher power but was not convinced that is was one all powerful God that other people insisted it was. I also viewed religious believe as on of the most conflict and death causing subjects in the world. That said, I believed that if there was a God, that God was likely to talk directly to people and not necessarily to human gatekeepers like Priests. I believe all people can have a direct connection to divine sources and not just some special few.
Thirty years later, I have still not seen evidence of one all knowing God during my readings. I do, however believe in God in a different context. I believe that all living things rejoin one another after death. Their souls return to their original state as energy and merge back into the source. This source carries all knowledge of all living things and functions to protect life in general. It acts as one entity and communicates directly with protective beings we call angels. The "angels" are present in every religion and used as a way for the source to protect us without direct interaction. Direct interaction with the whole source/God would be so powerful for living beings that it can cause severe damage to physical tissues. This is one reason that when people start to go through awakening they can have very uncomfortable physical changes.
I read part of the bible occasionally the way I have read many religious texts. I admit I haven't read it cover to cover. There are few things I do interpret differently than how many others interpret it.
1. The angels are the messengers for this God that functions both as collective consciousness as well as one all knowing being. This is what I believe about God. I do not think that any one living person was more of God than any other, such as Christ or Muhammed. I believe these people were highly connected to the source and able to interpret it for the living. I also believe that throughout history there have been many who have had this gift and that every day there are more and more people on earth who are born with a predisposition for this talent.
2. I believe the "second coming" is real, but not as an individual person. There isn't going to be a single person who comes and delivers a message and then the world will end. Instead, there will very many messengers over a period of time, even hundreds, who are sent to warn us of our ways giving as a chance to listen and make the right choices. This is the purpose of people we call Indigos, Rainbows, Empaths, Autistics, Bipolar and other labels we give them. They are hear to try and make us see things differently and give us a chance to continue to exist on this world. I do not believe in a God that is cruel reigning down punishment on humanity.
3. Religion is for the living. People have needed religion throughout history for some very important reasons. People were separated and fighting amongst one another. They needed a common belief system to unify them in order to make it more likely for humanity to survive. Also, having a connection to the other side makes it less likely that a person will choose to stay in this life and learn their lessons, which can be hard and painful at times. There needed to be a set on incentives to "finish school" and a set of consequences for trying to skip out early.
4. Religion is not necessary to have a relationship the source. Everyone can speak directly to it. The problem is that it isn't the only influence out there so it is hard to know who and what you are communicating with. This is why religion created the devil. The devil concept deters people from putting themselves at risk by opening themselves up to the other invisible worlds. There is real risk involved. Ironically, it won't be until science catches up to inter-dimensional communication that we will better be able to control who and what we communicate with. Science is a gift from the source. It is tool for use to use. As it progresses, the need for religions (or regional languages to speak to God) will lessen.
5. "The Devil" is part of the soul. It is a frightened and malleable part of the soul that is easily manifested through the physical world. In living form we are more at risk of isolating ourselves from God than in our original form. In the same way we can unit with one another and use the source to heal, we can also invoke the more challenged parts of human existence in order to cause pain, suffering and division. When we make choices that inflict pain on ourselves and other living things, we move our souls further away from the energetic vibration that meshes with this God collective. As our soul becomes degraded we become more isolated from each other and the source of life making it more likely we make even more destructive decisions. Sometimes we can create large groups of people experiencing the same suffering making the likelihood of creating destruction more pronounced. Large groups of people coming together to create change isn't bad as long as the goal to love instead of destroy. The other good news is that when a person dies they can stay in a middle world and work on making amends until they vibrate at a frequency that can safely rejoin the source.
I don't think that science and religion are separate from one another. I think that science is the new language of religion. It's like a master language that will allow everyone to communicate equally. Humanity no longer needs tribalism for survival. We are now able to connect to everyone int he world without tribal divides. Currently, We are bringing those tribal divides into the technology, but that won't last forever. That is a phase that is part of the evolution. Soon we will come to understand that humanity doesn't need tribalism to survive. We just have a lot of catalysts for this change happening in the world right now. People are frightened by change, but it won't last forever. Our children are bring born with a adversity to tribalism for a reason. They are rising up agains this tendency in previous generations.
To be clear, yes, I believe science and technology will bring us closer to the source rather than further away.
So, in conclusion I am putting myself at risk publishing this but enough people have asked me that I think it is time to explain. Hopefully you will retain whatever belief system you need to in order to connect to the source, to spread compassion through humanity and help relieve whatever suffering you can in your own circle of influence.